FUNNY WRITING

At this page, you will find links to various humor projects I have worked on.

I Want to Apologize for How this Tragedy Has Hurt Our Stock Price
McSweeney’s (5/31/2017)

As a Cheeto, I am Offended by the Frequent Comparisons to Donald Trump
Medium (5/25/2017)

Our Nation’s Core Values Are Under Siege. Also, Where Are My Keys?
McSweeney’s (3/15/2017)

It’s Not You, It’s Structural Injustice
McSweeney’s (2/8/2017)

Donald Trump Takes Credit for My Risotto
Medium (1/26/2017)

GRE Questions for the Real World
The New Yorker (11/3/2016)

It Appears That I’ve Goofed on My Pronouns
Medium (10/10/2016)

I Want to Apply for the Position of “Rent-Seeking Capitalist”
McSweeney’s (10/10/2016)

Let’s Have a Meeting to Plan Our Next Meeting
McSweeney’s (7/28/2016)

The Chinese Government Writes a 5 Year Plan for My Life
Medium (5/5/2016)

Chinese Foreign Policy Initiative or Independent Boutique Shop?
w/Jesse Appell (Spring 2016)

Lesser-Known Presidential Voting Blocs
Tumblr (Fall/Winter 2015)

I Have No Idea What This Thing Is, Is It Authentic and Made In Traditional Cultural Ways?
McSweeney’s (9/3/2015)

I May Have Missed That Report Deadline, But I Learned A Lot About Myself
McSweeney’s (1/29/2015)

This Authentic Food is Delicious, But I Think My Mouth is On Fire
McSweeney’s (3/31/2014)

I Fear My Dissertation Is Not Having the World-Changing Impact I Thought It Would
McSweeney’s (9/26/2013)

I Have a Ten-Part Question for Every Person on This Panel
McSweeney’s (4/17/2013)

It’s Not You, It’s Quantitative Cost-Benefit Analysis
McSweeney’s (2/5/2013)

Monologue: Allow Me to Evade That Specific Policy Question With Sweeping Generalizations About America
McSweeney’s (10/15/2012)

Now That We’re Married, It’s Our Male Pattern Baldness
McSweeney’s (8/14/2012)

Robber Barons Sketch Comedy
(Former Executive Producer and Head Writer)